Hedonism

"Time In: Think back to a time -- a single experience or a longer period -- when you lived as a hedonist. What were the costs and benefits of living this way?" (from the book Happier)

This one is a bit harder for me to answer because I don't completely understand why someone wouldn't want pleasure with very little pain. I suppose that if one were to sacrifice experiences because they don't give a quick pleasurable payoff then this wouldn't be an ideal way to live life. While I would rather have good, pleasurable experiences I understand the benefits of painful experiences and what can be learned from them. Probably earlier in my young adulthood I would say I lived a more hedonistic life style than I do now. After emancipating myself when I was 17, I found that my freedom allowed me to do whatever I wanted and to have fun. I was partying with my friends every chance I got and slept with many men against my better judgement. I was getting pleasure out of being accepted by the people I partied with. The cost of living this way was I was sick, broke, and wasting my life away. I was extremely malnourished because I had no money and was living a life style of getting up in the morning and finding the next party.

Things I am grateful for: freedom, friends, my cabin, my life

Rat Race

"Time In: Do you, at times, feel part of the rate race? Looking at your life from the outside, what advice would you give yourself?" (from the book Happier)

I guess once in awhile I do feel like I am part of the rat race. But mostly, I feel like I am the creator of my own direction and goals. While the fast-paced world of today can at times be overwhelming, I make a conscious effort to not allow it to drive me. The advice I would give to myself would be to not lose sight of who I am, I can always do whatever I put my mind to, and that while dreams are attainable it is perfectly fine to have failures.

Things I am grateful for: my kids, my lover, my free spirit, my career, my health

Bumper Sticker:

Just the other day I realized that I have never owned a bumper sticker in my life. I thought it would be fun to post bumper stickers in my posts that either reflect who I am, how I'm feeling that day, or just to have fun. Here's my first one...

The Meaning of Happiness

"Time In: How would you define happiness? What does happiness mean to you?" (from the book Happier by Tal-Ben Shahar, Ph.D.)

When I first read these questions I thought, "Oh, that's pretty easy." After thinking about it for a few minutes I thought, "Hmmmm... maybe not." So I contemplated these two questions for a few days before coming up with my answers.

I think happiness is all-encompassing of all the good things in one's life, including inner peace and fulfillment. I believe happiness can be delivered in several emotions from a warm and fuzzy relaxed state to a feeling of excitement. I don't believe that any one person can be completely happy all the time because sad moments in life is inevitable. However, I do believe that a happier person can recover from these times quicker and at peace with these moments.

Can you learn to be happy?

I've been reading this book called Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. It's sort of a self-help book using the principles of positive psychology along with scientific studies and spiritual enlightenment. He gives you a basic set of principles you can apply to your daily life in order for one to feel more fulfilled and connected.

In the book, he includes what he calls "Time Ins" as opposed to "Time Outs" in which you stop and take time to reflect on what you read and to look inside yourself answering the questions or performing the exercises he provides. I'm going to use my blog as a way to log these Time Ins and add or reference them later.

I've arrived at my first Time In in the book which reads... "Reflect on a couple of personal experiences where reaching a certain milestone did not bring you the emotional payoff you expected." The lead-in to this exercise was a story about how he had desired to win the Israeli national squash championship and how he thought it would alleviate an emptiness he had felt. At first he was so happy and fulfilled that he had won the title but shortly thereafter was very down and his emptiness returned.

I could answer this in a few different ways. The first thing that comes to mind is that while I do have things that I look forward to that I think will make me happy, I don't think they will make me happy indefinitely. In other words, I know it is a temporary fulfillment and I don't have expectations that it will make me happy forever. Specifically as an example, when I was younger I would look forward to going to stay with my cousins at their house. I was so happy to be able to go and I would have a lot of fun. But when I had to go home I would feel so down. Now that I am older and more mature, the let downs I feel after a happy moment in my life doesn't seem to be as severe. However, I have thought about this particular subject on several occasions and I do know that instead of allowing my time leading up to my moment to be happy and exciting, I really need to savor in the moment more and allow myself to look back on these times and reminisce and savor it all over again. Another example and much more complex is what I happen to be going through at this time in my life. I have left a broken marriage and while I have the world in the palm of my hands, I feel so down and empty. Which is why I'm reading this book. :)

A Little Database / Programming Humor

More at http://xkcd.com/327/

(xkcd: A Webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language.)

Colbie Caillat - Bubbly

Will you count me in?

I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

The rain is fallin' on my window pane
But we are hidin' in a safer place
Under the covers stayin' safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

What am I gonna say
When you make me feel this way
I just........ mmmmm

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Where ever it goes
I always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Where ever you go

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
'Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin' shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin' me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go....
Always know.... cause you make me smile
Even just for awhile

New Look

After over a week of planning and lots of work, I finally finished customizing my blog layout. It was very tricky to allow for cross-browser compatibility... but I finally got it. I'm really happy with how it turned out.

I'm so glad for the work week to be over. While I was very productive, the week seemed to drag on so long. I'm not sure what I'm going to do this weekend, but I do feel a bit ambitious. I'm thinking I might call an old friend of mine to see what she is up to. There's something I've been dying to tell her for years, but I can't.

I think my daughter is testing me. She got mad at me on the phone the other day and since then it seems as if she is testing my parenting skills.

A lot of people have been really irritating the hell out of me this week. If I hear one more person complain or tell me how terrible they have it, I'm going to drop kick them... I swear.

:) That was funny.